A Timeless Debate.... Love or Arranged Marriage ?

There would be tons of articles on marriage and even more on arrange marriage v/s love marriage, so whatever i say here would already be covered in those countless material, but here is my perspective.

The topic of discussion here is Love Vs arranged marriage, so let us take the common point between these "marriage", The concept of marriage varies widely across the countries and cultures, but the underlying idea is similar. Interesting to note that the Vedas(Dated at ~3000Bc ) and their branches belonging to one of the most ancient civilizations also talk about the concept of marriage. Infact they list 7 types of marriages,In which arranged marriage ( bramha  way of marriage) and  Gandharva (love marriage) also lists, 5 other types of marriages listed are  not related to this post. Thus it shows that concept and types of marriages indeed has been a age old debate or merely a accepted way of life . In India Marriage is not only seen as a union between two individuals  but families.

Before going to the debate of love or arranged, there are two extremely meaningful procedure followed during any Hindu wedding, which captures the essence of elements needed for a successful marriage,

First one being the vow taken "Dharmecha Arthecha kamecha naaticharami" which means we shall stay together, abiding to the moral economical and vital laws, by consulting each other and not overlooking the wish of either one and we continue to grow. When the divorce rates have increased predominantly following this simple rule would do good not just for marriage but any relation ship, As not disucssing finances, moral priorities and desires would be main reason for any failed marriages.

Second one being the sapthapadi meaning 7 steps taken by the couple, where at the seventh step it is said "sakha saptapadi bhava" meaning At this 7th step we are friends, which opens a whole new world for the couple.

With this idea the debate of love vs arranged becomes simple

In love marriage the couple know each other for sometime, where the like each other for the qualities and individuality, this makes the chance of success high, but then love driven by infatuation would soon die down and when the equilibrium of DAK (Dharma-Artha-kama) is imablanced it simply crumbles.

In case of arranged marriage where parents try to find a suitable groom/bride, families are matched for the rightness rather than the two individuals, Although it seems a little outdated,  point to note here is, if people are from similar upbringing they more or less share common values thus chances of a successful marriage is high. But then considering a typical scenario of arranged marriage using a matrimony website where the matching is done on very few pre set criteria, such as looks build, annual salary and qualification,  no good comes out of it as everyone wants all the conditions met rather than considering how right is the person from different aspects of life.

Now if i am asked to give Advice, which is "one free thing that everyone gives in bulk wholeheartedly, even without asking",
It does not matter whether it is arranged or love marriage, if the other person is the one with whom it is easy to achieve equilibrium in terms of morality, financially and in your interests and desires go for it without thinking twice. Because there is no perfect person, It should be just that he or she is perfect for you.

While i conclude, I want to do with this very very interesting quote,
When a couple who celebrated  65 years of their married life, someone asked how did you manage and the reply was "We were born in the period, when if things broke they were fixed not replaced",
No couple are perfect, It is only talking about the differences and but trying to maintain the equilibrium of DAK  for perfect balance is key.

Note : This entry is for Indiblogger Love marriage ya arranged marriage! contest
www.facebook.com/LoveYaArrange.

Sheep, wolf and resolution

I came across this quote

"It is useless for the sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while the wolf remains of a different opinion", by William Ralph Inge,

It's a very interesting quote as i could readily apply this analogy everywhere in day to day life.

First thing that came to my mind is anti-corruption drive, when there are a whole lot of common people fighting against it and resolving that we are no longer going to pay bribe is like the sheep's resolution, While the politicians and public officials acting like wolves.

But then this lead to two parallel thoughts which i would like to share,

First one being the concept of swabhava and swaroopa, There was this incident i was told which goes like this, "There was a swamiji in whose ashram came an abandoned tiger cub, as it looked helpless the swamiji decided to feed it and bring it up like its own child, he gave it milk and vegetarian food, when people asked he told that he wanted to prove that if given a chance one can overcome swabhava, this continued for few years and one fine day as the swamiji was in meditation the tiger started licking the hand of swamiji and it cut his hand by mistake and after the first taste of blood the tiger forgetting that fact that it was this swamiji who had given it a life tore him into pieces".

What does this show ? that no matter what it is impossible to come out of one's nature ?

But then valmiki the great sage, vivekenanda, gandhiji had all done mistakes but had over come them? Is it the boon we have of being placed higher in the ecological chain ? But may be that is why there is this saying "loko binna ruchihi"( Interests of people in this world are diversified).

The other thought being a tale read in panchantantra, which empasizes unity and wit is strength, we all have heard many stories of how a group of pigeon caught in net flew together and escaped the hunter.

So tweaking the quote if instead of sheep (considered dumb) if a group of rabbits (considered smart in tales) pass the resolution of vegertarianism although they may not be able to change the nature of wolves might atleast be able to save themselves better ??